See I realized that not only am I preventing myself from having fun, but I'm also preventing BK from learning independence from me. I'm not allowing BK the opportunity to gain independence in forming relationships with others. Don't get me wrong, she interacts with others , just not without me standing by. Brooklyn Grace is a very independent little girl, but I want her to be confident in herself in forming relationships as well. I want her to realize that other people see just how funny + smart + sweet she is, it's not just mama's rose colored glasses.
I'm also putting a damper on my marriage. While my love with S is stronger now than ever before I am definitely not as fun as before. I used to be the life of the party, or at least a piece of it. I used to keep my husband on his toes. I used to be adventurous. I want to get all of that back. Most of all I never want my husband to feel as if the baby is my only priority. Our blissful marriage and fun nights are what got us BK in the first place.
So I need to work on balance. I need to be better at being mama, friend, wife, daughter, and sister. I know that it won't come extremely quickly, and probably not extremely easily, but I need to make more of a conscious effort. So here's to hoping that I get better. Here's to hoping that a little bit of the old me will make a come back. Wish me luck.