Do NOT Sext your father in law...

My husband has been gone for nine days. Now don't get me wrong, to many, many admirable couples, nine days of separation is nothing. I mean really its the equivalent of  a Spring Break vacation with a hangover on either side.

However to me. To me it's long, it's cold, and its damn lonely. I have a teething toddler damnit! And she's getting molars at that. So there are my excuses and this is the result.... I SEXT my father in law. Yes you read that right. Now go say a prayer for me. No really, do it.

This is a snippet of what my phone book looks like. I thought I was being "grown and mature" just using everyone's first and last names, whelp obviously I need to be a little less mature and embrace nicknames more.

See how I could accidentally send a text mentioning solo shower activities to the man above my husband? His name is right above, and damn that autotext prediction. I mean i guess better to him than a girl that babysat for us maybe twice. Especially when I'd already begun said "solo activities" and they would be best performed without the phone.

Well damn me and my need for speed. I waited nine days before taking matters into my own hands {literally}. Nine more minutes of carefully placed texting wouldn't have killed anything, though those few short minutes did manage to destroy my pride.

I died. Part of me died right there.

So now that I've learned that "sexting" is out, any ideas on how to keep the spice alive in my relationship? Buehler? Anyone? Anyone?




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Perfect Summer Picnic

There are 12 more days until Stephen gets home. Don't worry I'm not counting down hours and minutes... yet. But I am planning {many, many} dates for his return. One that I am super excited about is a picnic. I just bought our family a membership to the Norfolk Botanical Gardens, and while the baby girl and I are making super use of the children's splash pad during the day, I cannot wait to have a super romantic evening there with the hubs. I have it all planned out, down to my outfit. Though I had to get creative with the menu because S doesnt eat sandwiches. 

summer date by tinymrsh featuring kate spade bags

What do y'all pack for picnics?

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Love is love

Dear Baby-

This summer has been just magical so far. You have grown and blossomed, your personality has just exploded. One trait that I have noticed that you most definitely got from me is the way that you love. You love fiercely and with abandon, you love with your whole tiny soul and you do not hold back. Kisses come freely and your hugs are so tight and sweet, you dole them out to anyone and everyone whether it is mommy and daddy or a random child at the park. It makes me so proud to see how sweet of a girl you are. But I also worry, because I know that with that much love to give comes so many extra chances at heart break. I pray that you never, ever have your tender heart broken. I will do anything in my power to keep your heart as safe as possible, but I know that you also have to live and take your own chances.

Since I cannot promise you that you will never experience heartbreak, I can promise you this Brooklyn Grace. I promise that you are free to love and cherish whomever you please. You may love a man or a woman. You may love someone who is black, white, purple, or any other color of the rainbow. I don't care if they are from ten or ten thousand miles away. I don't care if they are a lawyer, a teacher, or the trash man. Every one on this Earth is deservant of love, and whoever is so blessed to win your heart will most definitely win ours. Love in our family has absolutely no limits or boundaries, so please never fear bringing someone you love home to your mama and daddy. I promise that they will be welcome with open arms. {Though daddy doesn't plan on you dating until you are 28 he will be receptive none the less}. We don't expect them to be perfect, or for y'all to never fight. Sometimes relationships are not easy, every one experiences growing pains. All that we ask of them is that they love you as fiercely and passionately as you deserve. That they respect you, that they are two hundred percent devoted to you, that they make you laugh, that they want to go on adventures with you, and most of all that they make you happy. Because that is what every parent wants for their child above all, their happiness.

I love you so much Brooklyn Grace. Thank you for letting me be your mama.


Also - *Single parenting* is freaking hard. Serious props to all those single parents out there. Whether it's military spouses holding down the home front or just a solo parent situation, you rock! Brooklyn is seriously keeping me on my toes with Stephen gone, throw in some molars coming in and welcome to my shit show, and by the time that she lays down all I want to do is grab the bottle of wine and lose brain cells to trashy tv. So my whole return to blogging thing did not go as well as I would've hoped last week, but I'm trying and thats what counts right?!




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Need to be a little bit stronger

Last night I was super lame. I passed up a chance to go out and celebrate St. Patrick's Day with some of my favorite people in favor of pajamas and reruns on tv. I realized I was being lame the second I made the decision, but I'm one of those people that makes a decision and is super stubborn and sticks to it {even if they realize it was the wrong decision}. The horrible part was that I knew instantly that S was super bummed, even though he did get to enjoy a night out he had to do it sans me. See, every since we had BK I have had a really hard time leaving her. I have found myself bailing on plans last minute, or coming up with excuses, or just not making plans at all. And the time has come for change.

See I realized that not only am I preventing myself from having fun, but I'm also preventing BK from learning independence from me. I'm not allowing BK the opportunity to gain independence in forming relationships with others. Don't get me wrong, she interacts with others , just not without me standing by.  Brooklyn Grace is a very independent little girl, but I want her to be confident in herself in forming relationships as well. I want her to realize that other people see just how funny + smart + sweet she is, it's not just mama's rose colored glasses.

I'm also putting a damper on my marriage. While my love with S is stronger now than ever before I am definitely not as fun as before. I used to be the life of the party, or at least a piece of it. I used to keep my husband on his toes. I used to be adventurous. I want to get all of that back. Most of all I never want my husband to feel as if the baby is my only priority. Our blissful marriage and fun nights are what got us BK in the first place.

So I need to work on balance. I need to be better at being mama, friend, wife, daughter, and sister. I know that it won't come extremely quickly, and probably not extremely easily, but I need to make more of a conscious effort. So here's to hoping that I get better. Here's to hoping that a little bit of the old me will make a come back. Wish me luck.

Friendships After Baby

Yesterday my blog sister, Ashley, wrote a post on friendships after baby. It was really refreshing to read the non-mommy side of things. I thought I might give a mommy's perspective to things. I'll go off of her main points, because I agree with them all.

1. Understand that the things that are important have changed...and be ok with that.
-Yes we are mommies now, our main priority is definitely going to be our small bundle of joy. And {initially} our life is going to be a little crazy. It'll take a little while for us to figure things out, so bare with us. Soon life will be pretty much completely back to normal, minus the tiny human that's our newest accessory.

2. Even though our priorities are different than yours, we still care and want to know what's going in your life...even if it seems petty compared to a baby.
-Sometimes a mom just wants to hear the goings on of our non-mommy friends, we want to live vicariously through you, and we want to have a little "escape" from our mommy routines. But most importantly we still care about you and your life. We might not call as frequently, sometimes we will have to rush off the phone, and we might even carry on a conversation or two with a crying baby in the background. Even saying all of those things it doesnt mean that we arent listening and it doesnt mean that you arent still a priority for us.

3. It is a little harder to hang out...we have babies.
-We wont be able to pick up and go as easily as we once did, more than likely we will be the lame people that need to make plans more than two days in advance, but we still want to hang out. Actually I would say that most moms feel "shunned" at times. People often dont ask us to hang out because they dont want us to feel obligated or they dont want to put us out, but when a lot of people think that way it often leaves us alone. So please dont be afraid to stop by & make plans, you'lll probably make our day.

4. All of the things that you had in common are still there...that doesn't change.
-Yes we will have new mommy friends, yes we will go on play dates, but ultimately we are the same person. I still want to grab happy hour, I still love to shop, I still want to go dancing. Sometimes we might have to have a glass of wine while the baby is in the bath, sometimes dance parties will be in our living room. But sometimes we'll have a babysitter, and we can let loose on the town like nothing has changed.

 Friendships grow and evolve, and adding a little one is just a part of us growing. Babies change things, but they are such great blessings. You never know a baby may be your new best friend.

puppy love

I have a broken heart y'all. My sweet puppy, Daisymae, is missing since last night. To be completely honest I'm not sure exactly what happened. I took her with me to 7-11 to grab some sprite for my mother in law who wasnt feeling well and then I lost her. I can say I just wasnt paying attention and thought she came in the house before me, or I can say that I was distracted by getting back to the baby and my family, but either way it boils down to it being my fault. The guilt that I feel is unbearable.

This is the dog that drove 1600 miles with me from Texas to Virginia, while riding in a laundry basket. The puppy I bought on a whim in college before heading to a basketball game. She's flown with me to Texas more times than I count, and always accompanies us on vacation. She's been dressed up for every holiday her whole life, and sometimes just because. It never fails that she sneaks chocolate out of our Easter baskets. She usually unwraps at least one present at Christmas. She's been with me through heart ache, joy, moves, a marriage, the birth of our first baby. Brooklyn Grace wakes up every morning up every.single.morning and the first words out of her mouth are "Daizzy kiss, daizzy kiss". She snuggles S after long days at work and keeps him company when he does work around the house. The dog that has slept by my side for over 6 years. She loves beach days, riding in the front seat with her head out the window, sleeping under the covers, and getting BK's dropped food. She is not a dog. She's family.

My heart is broken. Please say a little prayer that our girl comes home.

Open letter

Today Becky prompted us to write, that was it she just said “write”. Writing is something that I have always loved; I remember being 8 years old and writing elaborate stories. I would sit behind my little typewriter and create magical lands and fabulous characters. I remember winning awards; I always thought that I would grow up to be a world famous author. My peers hated essay assignments, where I relished in them. Now I have this little piece of the internet where I can write whenever and whatever I please, so why is it that when I saw Becky’s post my mind went blank? What would I write about? Honestly I’m still pondering the topic of the post.

So I figured I would write a letter. I write to my daughter frequently, and I used to write to my husband regularly as well. Lately though I haven’t written to S, so I suppose it is high time that he gets a letter.

Stephen,
I haven’t written to you in a while, I’m sorry about that baby, in my defense life has been crazy. Your work schedule has been insane and to say that BK keeps me on my toes is a massive understatement. In short, I miss you. We haven’t had much us time lately. As soon as this project is over we definitely need to fix that. I promise to plan the perfect date night.

I just wanted to take a minute and tell you what an amazing man you are. Your work ethic is unbelievable. You have been working close to 80 hour weeks and not batting an eye. Thank you so much for the way that you provide for our family, but also the amazing example that you set as well. Our child{ren} has such a wonderful role model in you. We are truly blessed to call you our own.

Speaking of babies, can you believe that ours is about to turn one? Where has this year gone? I am proud of us. Of the parents that we have become. I am in awe of the father that you are to BK. You blew my expectations out of the water. I always knew that you would be amazing, but honey you put other men to shame. I never knew that my love for you could run any deeper. Seeing the two of you together, the love that you have for her, it makes my heart just swell.

I cannot wait to see what the future has in store for us. To grow old and gray with you. To spend the rest of my life with you. You are my everything. You are truly the love of my life. Thank you for showing me just how wonderful love and life are meant to be.

I love you more than words.

xoxo,
B

The Spice of Life

In the spirit of Valentine’s Week lets get a little personal today. As a new mom this is definitely a relevant topic to my life, but I feel like it can is actually relevant to ALL relationships at one time or another. Let’s talk about keeping the “spice” in life.

I know with BK we have to get real creative, and we don’t always have time for elaborate romance. Before we could pick up and run away for a weekend, or spend three hours just out to dinner and drinks. Now it's a little more like champagne and sweat pants. I don't ever want to lose the fun thought. One of my favorite aspects of my relationship has always been the fun that we have together, the way we really lived life.

Now dont get me wrong, we can still get a babysitter and plan date nights but I'd love to be able to keep things kickin at home on the regular. We're young and fun, and I dont want to forget it.

Kaitlyn over at Wifessionals recently set up a Club Sexy for her and her husband. What do you do with your significant other?

relationships

Being that it is now February and the month of l.o.v.e I thought that we could talk a little about relationships this week. 

Relationships are hard. They are work. Love that comes easy, it’s everything else that is hard. There are so many outside forces to deal with, to contend against. And it’s like that for all relationships. Friendships, romantic relationships, hell even family.

I grew up before my time, Was forced to mature too early. I have a wonderful mom and a terrific father, but my childhood was not ideal. My parents are divorced but I remember them being together. I saw how fiercely they loved each other, that’s where I learned how deep love should be. I remember my mom once saying that “being with my dad was like fireworks.” Strong imagery right? They were fireworks all the time though. When it was good it was spectacular, and when it was bad it was b.a.d. Needless to say, they didn’t really teach me what it takes to make a marriage work. Honestly, they probably aren’t the best examples of how to make any kind of relationship work. But that’s ok, I did learn a thing or two from them.

Now I am in my own firecracker relationship marriage. I am blessed to have married the love of my life. Four years and a baby later, and I still get butterflies when we kiss. I have to say though our relationship is way different than what I saw in my parents. We know to communicate. S is truly my best friend and we can talk about anything. It doesn’t always come easy, and it isn’t always the first thing we do, and it definitely took a while for us to learn. But we do really great when we finally get down to it. It’s a wonderful thing, and I never fear that we’ll find an obstacle we can’t beat.

What are your keys to good communication in a relationship?

 

Girls

Being a girl is tricky, maybe I should say having friends as a girl is tricky. If you're a girl that has lots of guy friends then you're definitely going to be classified as a hussy. Hey you probably aren't a hussy, but I'm just being honest. Girls don't want other girls hanging around their men. The problem though is that girls are drama. Like Jerry Springer type drama on the regular, and lets be honest

Now I could be stereotyping and you could disagree, but as a girl I think your friendships fall into one of three categories.

1) You're a guys girl
-You proclaim on the regular that "you would rather hang out with guys" or "you have way more guy friends than girl friends". I'm going to go ahead and say you're not a two bit hussy and you just prefer to have friendships that are low maintenance and drama free. That's how it is with most guys, no drama. Just be careful that they try and get in your pants, which is bound to happen. Because I know that all of you reading this are of the super hott body variety, you're here so you're obviously fabulous.

2) You have a small tight knit group of friends
-Most of your girl friends have probably been in your life for ten or more years, minus the few you picked up in college or at the work place. Y'all move as a pack and rarely have one on one dates, it usally all or nothing. You always have someone on speed dial to grab a cocktail or go see a movie. Your bridesmaids have been picked out since before you met your fiance. And you should consider yourself pretty lucky in the friends department.

3) You tend to stick to yourself
-You may have one or two best friends, not including your significant other who you definitely claim as your "best friend and the only one you need", and you have a handful of nice acquaintances. People you would strike up conversation with at the mall or might even grab a drink with on occasions, but they aren't the kind of people that you share your deepest secrets with.

I, myself, fall into group three. I have a best friend that lives in Texas, two cousins that I consider my best friends, and a few other close friends. I have 2 bloggy friends that I know I would be joined at the hip with if we lived in the same state. I proudly claim S & BK as my soul mates. Sometimes I dont have someone to see a chick flick with me or to catch happy hour when I need it, but honestly I'm ok with that. I'm happy and thankful for what I do have. I find that navigating relationships with girls is tricky. Maybe I'm just weary from my run-ins with the mean girls in high school and college. I could probably put myself out there a little more, but where do you even find friends as an adult? It's not like I'm in class to meet new people every semester, I almost always have a mini me attached to my hip, and I enjoy spending most nights cuddled on the couch with my mister. Not that I wouldnt enjoy expanding my friendship circle, but I'm pretty comfortable in my life.

What about you? What's your friendship situation?